Meal Planning on the ASSFACE Diet
Meal planning is a pain in the ass on any diet, so we've tried to make it a bit easier with ASSFACE by providing a little something for everyone--meals for the kitchen guru, the person who orders takeout 4 nights' a week, or the lazy recipe lover who wants something they can throw together in 5 or 10 minutes. ASSFACE covers all of these meal planning preferences :)
Average difficulty ASSFACE Meals
Breakfast Options:
1. Avocado & Egg Cups
• Halve an avocado, remove a bit more flesh, crack an egg into each half, and bake for ~12 minutes at 375°F.
• Optional: Add cheeses, herbs, or hot sauce.
2. Chia Seed Pudding (No Sweeteners)
• Mix chia seeds with unsweetened almond or coconut milk and cinnamon. Let sit overnight.
• Add nuts or unsweetened shredded coconut for texture.
3. Hard-Boiled Eggs & Veggie Sticks
• Prep a batch of eggs and keep with sliced cucumbers, bell peppers, or cherry tomatoes.
Lunch Ideas:
1. Tuna Salad Lettuce Wraps
• Mix canned tuna with avocado or mayo. Serve in romaine or butter lettuce leaves.
2. Grilled Chicken with Steamed Greens
• Use pre-cooked or rotisserie chicken (unseasoned) over sautéed kale or spinach. Drizzle olive oil on top.
3. Egg Muffins (Mini Frittatas)
• Bake eggs mixed with chopped vegetables in muffin tins for 15–20 mins. Store in fridge for grab-and-go meals.
Dinner Options:
1. Zucchini Noodles with Olive Oil & Herbs
• Spiralize zucchini and sauté with olive oil, garlic, and herbs. Add grilled chicken or shrimp.
2. Cauliflower Rice Stir-Fry
• Sauté riced cauliflower with mushrooms, spinach, and coconut aminos for a quick stir-fry. Add tofu or meat for protein.
3. Baked Salmon & Asparagus
• Sheet pan bake: salmon fillet and asparagus with lemon, olive oil, and seasoning. 15–20 mins at 400°F.
Snacks:
• Handful of raw almonds or walnuts
• Seaweed snacks
• Sliced cucumber with guacamole
• Olives
• Boiled eggs
Quick and Easy ASSFACE Meals
Quick Breakfast Ideas
1. Greek Yogurt + Berries + Chia
• Use plain, unsweetened Greek yogurt, a handful of berries, and a sprinkle of chia seeds.
2. Cottage Cheese + Fruit
• Pair low-sodium cottage cheese with pineapple chunks or sliced peaches (in juice, not syrup).
3. Hard-Boiled Eggs + Grapes
• Meal prep a batch of eggs and pair with a handful of fruit for a grab-and-go breakfast.
4. Overnight Oats (No Added Sugar)
• Rolled oats + almond milk + mashed banana or dates + cinnamon + walnuts.
Fast Lunch Options
1. Bagged Salad + Rotisserie Chicken
• Choose a salad mix with no added sugar in dressing (or use olive oil and balsamic). Add pulled rotisserie chicken.
2. Hummus + Veggie Wrap
• Use an ultra whole grain wrap, hummus, and sliced cucumbers, carrots, and spinach.
3. Quinoa Bowl
• Frozen quinoa, canned black beans (rinsed), corn, salsa, and avocado.
4. Egg Salad Lettuce Cups
• Mash boiled eggs with mayo, avocado, or a bit of plain Greek yogurt. Scoop into romaine leaves.
Simple Dinner Ideas
1. One-Pan Chicken & Veggies
• Chicken breast, bell peppers, onions, and zucchini roasted with olive oil and herbs.
2. Lentil Soup + Side Salad
• Use canned lentils (watch for sugar), veggie broth, carrots, celery, and spinach.
3. Salmon + Brown Rice + Broccoli
• Bake salmon with ghee and lemon, microwave steam-in-bag broccoli, and serve with instant brown rice.
4. Stuffed Peppers
• Fill bell peppers with a mix of beans, tomatoes, brown rice, and shredded cheese. Bake for 15-20 mins.
More ASSFACE-Friendly Snacks
• Mixed nuts (unsweetened, unsalted)
• Apple slices with peanut butter
• Veggies with guacamole or hummus
• Real cheese cubes or string cheese
• Roasted chickpeas (no added sugar)
• Edamame
ASSFACE-Approved Restaurant Meals
How to eat at restaurants on the ASSFACE diet
1. Chipotle
Go-to Order: Burrito Bowl
• Base: Brown rice (light) or lettuce
• Protein: Chicken, steak, or barbacoa
• Add-ons: Fajita veggies, tomato salsa, guac (optional), cheese (optional)
• Avoid: White rice, queso, sour cream, tortilla
Why it fits: Brown rice is allowed, clean protein, veggies, and healthy fats
2. Chick-fil-A
Go-to Order: Grilled Chicken Sandwich (on multigrain bun) or Grilled Nuggets
• Side: Kale Crunch Salad or fruit cup
• Avoid: White buns, fries, sweetened sauces
Why it fits: Lean protein, optional ultra-whole grain bun, simple ingredients
3. Panera Bread
Go-to Order: Mediterranean Bowl with Chicken, Chicken Caesar Salad no Croutons, or Green Goddess Cobb with Chicken
• Side: Apple or hard-boiled egg
• Skip the bread
Why it fits: Fresh, nutrient-dense, flexible with protein and veggie focus
4. Subway
Go-to Order: 6” Sub on Whole Grain or Salad with Double Meat
• Choose 9-Grain Wheat or Hearty Multigrain (allowed occasionally)
• Lean meats: turkey, chicken, roast beef
• Mustard, vinegar, or oil (light), and all the veggies
Why it fits: Whole grain bread option available; packed with veggies and lean meats
5. Starbucks
Go-to Order: Egg White & Roasted Red Pepper Sous Vide Egg Bites
• Add: Protein Box with fruit, nuts, and boiled egg
• Drink: Unsweetened tea or black coffee
Why it fits: No added sugar, high protein, simple carbs from fruit/nuts
6. Wendy’s
Go-to Order: Plain Chili, Chicken Caesar Salad no Croutons, Grilled Chicken Wrap, or Grilled Chicken Sandwich (ask for Lettuce wrap)
• Side: Apple slices or side salad (light dressing)
Why it fits: Lean protein and fiber; skip white bread and fries
7. Panda Express
Go-to Order: Grilled Teriyaki Chicken + Super Greens
**many Chinese restaurants also offer a steamed shrimp and broccoli or similar on their lite fare menu, I season this at home with sea food seasoning and ghee/some type of butter and it's amazing :)
• You may choose brown rice as a small side
• Avoid: White rice, fried rice, orange chicken
Why it fits: High protein, veggie-heavy, brown rice is ok in moderation
8. Jersey Mike’s
Go-to Order: Sub in a Tub (no bread) or on a lettuce wrap
• Protein: Turkey, roast beef, chicken Philly
• Add veggies, vinegar, mustard
Why it fits: Can go breadless or choose a whole grain option occasionally
