The ASSFACE Diet

An easy guide to stop eating like crap without overthinking it...

This isn’t your typical diet.

The ASSFACE Diet isn’t about restriction, perfection, or counting every calorie. It’s about using common sense, eating real food, and avoiding the junk that’s been messing with our bodies for years.

So… what does ASSFACE stand for?

No, it’s not just a funny name (though we’re not mad if it makes you laugh). It’s a memorable acronym that sums up the diet’s core principles:

Added
Sugar
Sucks
Fruits and veggies
Also contain
Carbs
Eat those!

Wait—fruits and veggies have carbs?

Exactly. And you should eat them as your primary sources of carbohydrates. When you need an energy boost, reach for a carrot, banana, or orange instead of white bread or a snack cake.

The ASSFACE Diet recognizes that carbs aren’t the enemy—ultra-processed carbs and added sugars are. So we focus on what matters most: eating better, not perfect.

What You Can Eat

We don’t believe in ultra long “can’t eat” lists. Instead, we focus more on the yes list:

Whole foods (like fruits, veggies, nuts, legumes, and lean proteins)
Meat is allowed, but for, vegans the addition of legumes makes this diet a bit friendlier to non-carnivores too!
Dairy (yes, we allow cheese and most dairy products as long as they are nutrient rich and don't contain added sugars!)
Occasional whole grains like brown rice or ultra whole grain bread are allowed in moderation
Real, unprocessed meals made from real ingredients are a yes
And yes—coffee is allowed. With no added-sugar dairy if you want it. Just sweeten your Joe with artificial sweetener (like stevia) or don't sweeten at all.

What You Should Skip

We avoid the stuff that sabotages health and weight goals:

Added sugars
Sugar-packed drinks
White bread, white rice, and highly refined carbs
Packaged snacks with unpronounceable ingredients

If the ingredient list reads like a chemistry exam, it’s probably not ASSFACE-friendly.

Why It Works

The ASSFACE Diet works because it’s:

Simple: No math. No macros. Just eat real food.
Flexible: It works whether you cook every night or grab a rotisserie chicken on the way home.
Realistic: We’re not trying to be perfect. We’re trying to feel better, live longer, and eat like grownups.

Who Created It?

Hi, I’m Erika Rawes
I’m a fitness coach, journalist, and someone who lost 115 pounds by cutting the crap—not cutting corners. I created the ASSFACE Diet because I wanted a way of eating that made sense, didn’t leave me starving, and didn’t require perfection.

The Bottom Line

The ASSFACE Diet isn’t a gimmick. It’s a call to stop eating like crap—and start eating like someone who actually gives a damn about their health. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to wake up each day and try.