What is the ASSFACE Diet?

A Common-Sense Approach to Cutting Sugar and Eating Better

Let’s get one thing out of the way: Yes, it’s called the ASSFACE Diet, and yes—it sounds funny. But don’t let the name fool you. The ASSFACE Diet is a serious and sustainable approach to nutrition that focuses on cutting out the junk, prioritizing whole foods, and making smart choices you can actually stick with for life.

ASSFACE is an acronym that stands for:

Added

Sugar

Sucks,

Fruits and Veggies

Also contain

Carbs

Eat those!

It’s cheeky, sure—but it’s also memorable. And that’s the whole point.

How the ASSFACE Diet Works

Instead of asking you to count every calorie or eliminate entire food groups, the ASSFACE Diet simplifies things by focusing on one core truth: Added sugar sucks.

We cut the obvious culprits—soda, candy, pastries—but also the sneakier sources like flavored yogurts, sauces, breads, and cereals that are loaded with unnecessary sugar.

At the same time, we say yes to real, nutrient-rich foods like:

• Fruits and vegetables (even the sweet ones)

• Whole proteins (including deli meats, eggs, and jerky)

• Legumes and dairy (yes, you can eat cheese!)

• Healthy fats like nuts, seeds, and avocados

Think of it as a more flexible version of low-carb diets—with a little more common sense and a lot more freedom.

What Makes ASSFACE Different?

Unlike most diets that feel like punishment, the ASSFACE Diet is built for real life.

You can:

• Grab quick meals from the frozen aisle

• Eat out without guilt

• Enjoy dairy and legumes

• Skip calorie tracking

• Still have artificial sweeteners if you choose

The focus is on eating better, not eating less.

Why It Works

Sugar is a major culprit in weight gain, inflammation, and energy crashes. When you remove it, you stop spiking your insulin all day long—and your body responds fast. Most people notice:

• Less bloating

• Fewer cravings

• Steadier energy and moods

• Weight loss that actually sticks

Plus, it’s not about being perfect. You don’t need to go 100% ASSFACE 100% of the time. This is a long-term lifestyle change, not a 30-day detox.

The Bottom Line

If you’re tired of overcomplicated diets, calorie-counting apps, and food guilt, the ASSFACE Diet might be exactly what you need. It’s not about being extreme—it’s about using your common sense.

Just remember: Added. Sugar. Sucks. Fruits and veggies. Also contain. Carbs. Eat Those!

Simple. Sustainable. And a little bit sassy.